Someone like you
by twinklepop
Summary: Amnesia is brain impairment and it affect the heart as well. Shinichi lost his memory, forget about Ran. Will Ran find someone like him?
1. Only Truth

**Title: SOMEONE LIKE YOU **

**Chapter 1: Only Truth **

_**#22 Beika street**_

**Agasa Hakase house**

"I can't believe it, there **come** a day like…THIS"

"I'm glad for you, Ai-chan" Hakase wiped the happy tears away

"Hakase, why crying? It's the happiest day of my life" the 20 year old girl ran toward the old Professor that she respect as her father, hugging him.

"I won't go anywhere, I still live with you and I'm still your Ai-chan as always…" Her humorous mind set in, interrupt the overwhelmed emotion "Hakase, I told you to call me Shiho"

She backed away from Professor "Look at me! I'm not a 7 year-old girl anymore" her voice teasingly pouted, tried to cheer up the mood.

"Alright, Shiho-kun, you're growing up now but I haven't got used to your new alas"

"You're slow, Professor. Everyone get used to it now. Even Kudo-kun calls me Miyano during the time we carried out the crusade"

"Yeah, Shinichi, where's he? He took the antidote before you but he hasn't come out yet"

Shiho glanced at her watch "Hai, probably he took too much temporary antidote before so the new one need more time to work out. There might be serious side effect as he kept taking momentary one in the past. That why I warned him but he didn't listen because of that girl from the Detective Agency" She left out a long sigh after her long speech.

"Ai.. ah Shiho, everything all right now. He would come out soon" Professor sweat- dropped, calmed down the girl before she went on and on complaining as usual.

The laboratory's door opened, revealing the high-school detective in his adult form: Shinichi walked out the room, flashing a greeting smile to Professor and the young girl. Gaiety clogged his heart at the thought of being himself for good.

"How you feel?" Professor concerned, waiting to hear the positive respond

"Great!" he simply reply

"Great?" Shiho questioned, saw his head lightly shaking in his hand

"Hai, except a little headache, how about you, Miyano?"

"Oh well, now you call my real name so naturally"

"What wrong? Aren't you Shiho Miyano, are you?"

"See Professor, he pretend not to know me as Haibara Ai" she played along with him

Professor chuckled

"Haibara Ai? Who's she?"

"Kudo-kun, stop this silly conversation before I…"

"But sincerely, I don't know who she is. Should I know her?

His expression left no doubt that he is honest and serious.

**Hospital **

"Retrograde" the doctor slowly said after flipping through the patient files.

Three people presenting at the doctor's office exchanged uneasy glances, stared at the doctor waiting for further explanation

"His symptoms are similar to dissociative amnesia. A dramatic event happened, invaded all his mind and attention intensively, plus strong chemical stimuli damaged his memory storage. He couldn't remember everything before the event except the event itself and people related to it."

"That's what I guess" Shiho agreed, "He's too engrossed in the plan and isolated himself from anything irrelevant. Amnesia is side-effect of the antidote on the body that built immunity from the temporary one"

"Is it permanent, doctor?" worrying mother enquired

"This type of amnesia is temporary but I am not sure when it's cured. Maybe 3 months, 1 year or 10 years or more"

Shock. Desperate. Broken. All written on Yukiko's face as hearing her son would suffer amnesia for indefinite time.

"Don't force him, he will remember when the time comes" said the experience doctor

**#21 Beika street **

**Kudo mansion **

"So we leaving tomorrow?" Shinichi with his head bow down, somberly tried to solve the mystery of his past.

"Yes, come back to your parent's house. You should thank and bid goodbye to the one that handle the scheme at Osaka, I've talked to him. He has helped us so much"

"Hattori Heiji? Detective of the West."

"You remember him?"

"Hai, he and me are good friends. We together drew the strategy. How can I forget him?"

"So…" Shiho hesitated "Do you remember anyone from your high school?"

Shinichi just shook his head in dismay. His brain has lost his key access to the past.

_Even her_. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. It's not permanent anyway"

Although said that, Shiho wished the effect could extend to infinity. Fate didn't want her to seek for love elsewhere. He's always by her side, isn't he?

000

Ran was informed by Yukiko about his situation, about their decision and the sudden flight to US.

Finally, Ran learnt the truth about Conan.

Anger. Frustration. Hurt. All the mixture of emotion, tremendous lie and painful loss strained her little heart, to the extent that she thought, she couldn't tolerant it.

Decision was not her to make. She understood. Agree without complaints.

She loved him enough to let him go.

After all, her golden heart is generous enough to accept the truth.

Shinichi started a new life without Ran.

She accept to walk out of his life for…ever

She's strong, isn't she?

_Never mind I'll find  
>Someone like you<em>

The last time she met him, he was still a 7 year-old Conan-kun. He gave her a goodbye to move back to America with his family.

She hadn't actually met him since he turned back 17 for good. She just saw him off, secretly far away at the airport before he got boarding on the airplane. Taking a healthy glimpse of him made her smile.

_I wish nothing but the best for you  
>Too.<em>

Ran didn't regret the years waiting for him. Even if he didn't ask, she did it willingly. No one force her. That's her decision to wait for him.

She didn't ask him to return anything. Seeing him in the pink of health is enough for her. Just as same as the last time, she didn't regret 2 hours waiting, to figure out that he let their appointment forgotten by a soccer game.

_Don't forget me  
>I beg<em>

Last time he forgot their date. This time he forgot her.

Does it sound reasonable? Is it so predictable?

Last time he did show up but this time...

Don't beg. It just deepened her wound. He had forgotten, everything, their childhood, their memories and…her.

000

The plane took off, brought him to the US. He left Japan, left his past behind

'_Why don't you leave this dangerous country and come back overseas with us?'_

'_Eh?'_

'_That's right, Shin-chan'_

'_Don't worry, I'll ask friend in Interpol to investigate the Organisation. We'll end this detective game here'_

'_NO. Don't get involved. This is my case and I am going to solve it… and… beside I have another reason to stay in Japan'_

'_Shin-chan…'_

He had forgotten the only reason kept him staying here.

He kept her out of his life as if she had never walked in.

_I remember you said  
>Sometimes it lasts in love<br>But sometimes it hurts instead  
>Sometimes it lasts in love<br>But sometimes it hurts instead  
>Yeah<br>_

It hurts.

True.

Nothing can heal the broken heart

Nothing can fill the empty soul

000

Time bury the pain inside

Lock it in her heart

It doesn't hurt anymore cuz it is always there.

5 years had passed but it felt like yesterday

As the pain retrieved again

_I heard  
>That you're settled down<br>That you found a girl  
>And you're married now<em>

If it wasn't her, he has someone else.

He couldn't stay like this forever as her.

She knew it would happen but,… it still caught her off guarded. Unprepared.

Her fragile heart was on challenge. It just proved that the broken heart could be scattered again.

The scar hadn't healed but a new wound had formed.

_I heard  
>That your dreams came true<br>Guess she gave you things  
>I didn't give to you<br>_

He was Holmes and _she_ was Irene.

_She_ was Miss Intelligence, a mind-thinker. _She_ was his deduction partner and also his love interest.

Please do not compare!

How can she compare with _her_? To him, she was just a troublesome tough case, hinder his deduction with all the crying and distracted emotion.

_Old friend  
>Why are you so shy<br>It ain't like you to hold back  
>Or hide from the light<em>

She's not his friend anymore. Does she remember that?

To him, she just a stranger who he has never met, _never …ever_

000

_I hate to turn up out of the blue  
>Uninvited<br>But I couldn't stay away  
>I couldn't fight it<br>I'd hoped you'd see my face  
>And that you'd be reminded<br>That for me  
>It isn't over<br>_

No, she didn't do that. It's out of her characteristic.

She just reminded him of nothing.

Even if he could remember her, _magically_, what would happen?

She just got herself into another gloomy tragedy.

It'd better to let it stay this way. It'd better she out of his life

It's better for him! _For her_?

It'd better to let it go, let it stay there silently in her heart.

Only herself suffer was enough.

_Never mind I'll find  
>Someone like you<br>I wish nothing but the best for you  
>Too<em>

He has his life and she has her own.

Why bother to waste hers?

000

"_Repressing memory can retrieve if fragment of the past was presented consistently and intensively. There is a rare case that even a hint or thin trail could succeed if the trail is vitally important to the patient. But in both cases, the probability is a small fraction, nearly zero." _

"_Mouri-san, you have questions?" _

"_Hai, Professor. I wonder if the probability is exclusively low, why don't we just suppose it would never happen? …I mean so I don't have to cover it in my report..."_

"_Please continue, Mouri-san" smiled the thoughtful teacher, encouraged her _

"_Hmm, I know what we are studying isn't about the assignment. But if in case of future reality, if I have to tell the patient and his family that there's chance he could recover but … You know, I feel like I disappoint them for make them hope for nothing" _

"_Actually, Mouri-san. It's not that bad to give hope for other." He paused, considered carefully before continued "…as well as for yourself. We will discuss fraction of hope in treatment in later lecture. And you have to include all possibility outcomes of amnesia in your paper."_

_As for an experienced psychologist, the old teacher knew exactly what his student worried only by her formed sentences and choices of word. _

"Ran, something wrong?"

"No, Fumiko. Just recall what we learnt about amnesia probability when come across this article"

"Ah, see. New medical record: a patient in Stockholm regains his memory after 17 years of post-traumatic- amnesia"

"I wonder if it can happen with dissociative type"

"I think it's unlikely, Ran. Normally the span of time is about 2-3 years recovery. 17 years is unusual."

_It's only 5 years_. Ran smiled

"Moreover,.." Fumiko backed up her argument "post-traumatic caused by physical injury which easily to regain than psychological suffering which mainly cause dissociative."

_Right._

She has told herself countless times that there's no change he could gain back memory, not when he lives in America, thousands of miles from Japan.

_It's not bad to give hope for others… as well as for yourself_

But what if, from the very beginning, you pretty sure that your hope will certainly turn into vain? She should know it, aware of it better than others.

_It could succeed if the trail is vital important…_

Is she vitally important to him? Has she ever asked herself that question? No, cause she clearly acknowledge that the answer just crush her heart into thousands tiny pieces

There's no such chance for her.

_Tomorrow is his wedding_…

"Ran!" Fumiko snapped her out of the train of thought

"Why don't you get prepare? We've finished."

"Oh yeah, I'm too engrossed into this case report. Give me a few minutes."

"All right, don't be late. I'm waiting on the G floor"

"Hai"

Ran hurried into the elevator, heading ground floor. She's moving fast so her colleague not to wait.

She's moved on now. Let it forgotten, as he does.

000

The soft music covered the tavern. The dim light shadowed everyone.

The scene just ceases the attempt she built up to defend herself

Shield her heart from further broken.

Once in a while, Ran found herself distracted from her group of friends.

Liquor could ease the painful brain but not the bleeding heart.

That why the effect is momentary. She knew it but she has no choice.

Maybe it's what she wanted right now, a profound slumber until next afternoon

Keep her from something silly, …like… show up uninvited.

"Cheer, Ran-chan"

"CHEER!"

She emptied her glass of red wine

"Ran…, wine isn't your favourite, right?"

"Never mind, I…"

"You should know better, sudden increase in alcohol consumption certainly caused breakout in cerebral cortex?"

"Fumiko, just…"

"You just finished your 6th glass. It's not gonna work. Try respond proactively to your burden."

Ran sank in her friend's word. Fumiko right she can't hide in drunkenness.

"Ran, try this" Fumiko titled her head toward the stage. The current song nearly got to an end and the singer about to bow.

"Alright… Thank Fumimko" Ran stood up, headed for the central stage, registered a song.

She didn't know whether it could smooth her wound or not because the only song in her mind was:

…_Don't forget me  
>I beg<br>I remember you said  
><em> 

000

"Do you like it?"

"Perfect, Shinichi, thank you!" the woman placed a sweet kiss on Shinichi's cheek, smiling.

"I'm glad you like it" Shinichi with both hands shove inside his pocket, walking happily beside the woman he cared.

His fiancé leant against him. Her head softly nest on his shoulder. Her arms loop around his in a secure grip. Her eyes dreamingly look up the sky. It's her wedding tomorrow after all. _Their wedding._

At this point, Kudo Shinichi had everything, everything that everyone has wished for: privilege prestige, a blest family and a full love. But sometimes, the feeling of missing something still bother him._ Life is not perfect, is it? _

The couple leisurely passed through the hustle street in Tokyo at night. The night was crystal clear, shinning at a space of star. The moon tugged at the cloudy shade to bath its moonlight on Earth. A breeze gentle passed by, made the leaves quivering, hubbub, as if they whispered something. The wind sent him a message.

"Do you hear anything, Shiho?"

The woman reluctantly pulled apart from him, turned her head aside, tried to hear something

"Nothing, Shinichi. What's that?"

"A song, I hear a voice singing"

"Shinichi" she kissed him again, "Don't tell me you hear Ave Maria bell in your mind". Shiho smiled, come back to the comfort spot on his shoulder. She has never known that her man could be so sweet like this.

Shinichi chuckled, kept the thought for himself. He didn't want to ruin the happiness of his wife-to-be. She didn't know that the song caught his mind wasn't "Ave Maria". The melody wasn't happy, wasn't cheery for a full love but, instead, it was sad, pitiful of a broken heart.

_Sometimes it lasts in love  
>But sometimes it hurts instead<br>Yeah  
><em> 

The voice was soft, subtle, and serene as the murmuring water moving through the ledge stones. The pure spring water wiped out obstacles blocking his memory path, revealed the trace to his mystery past.

_You'd know  
>How the time flies<br>Only yesterday  
>Was the time of our lives<em>

Shinichi turned around, looked for the source of the singing and got lost. Nothing matched his searching. _Odd. Strange_. _Weird_. He began to felt startle…upon realizing that the voice coming from inside his mind.

The missing memory boiling his head during 5 years was now fiercer than ever. It was so overwhelmed and took control over him. The voice was charming, enchanting and tempting. It took him out of reality, excluded everything. Shinichi lost his sense in the surrounding as if he was living in the world with himself and only his _yesterday_.

His mind came to the room built with glass wall. He can look from outside but he didn't know what inside.

A source of light flash through his head, he heard the singing voice calling his name 'Shinchi', and the same voice bust out in laughter 'haha'. It sound serene, pure euphonic and pleasant to hear. The way it pronounced 'Shi-nichi' was unique, his brain hadn't recorded to hear it before. He tried hard to outline the figure, but the dazzling light was too strong to let him see through.

While his mind struggle with the mental vision, his heart humbled along the rhythms

_We were born and raised  
>In a summer haze<br>Bound by the surprise  
>Of our glory days<em>

The dazzling light now forms into the blazing sun. He can point out the brightly orange circle around the light spot. Is it the sunset in the summer haze? He saw this sunset before. How many times did he see this sunset? He doesn't remember. He hardly watched sunset in the U.S where brilliance, glitter and sparking- all master piece of human- dominance. And… it seemed that in his memory he didn't watch sunset alone, there was someone beside him. A wind. The wind brought a long brown strand touch his shoulder. 'Who's it?'

_Nothing compares  
>No worries, or cares<br>Regrets and mistakes  
>They're memories made<br>Who would have known.. How..  
>Bittersweet<br>This would taste  
><em> 

'Please wait for me,-' He heard his own voice talking, his voice sound so weak like a pleading. Who he ask to wait for him?

'-, I will protect you' Good will feigned in his voice. Who was that someone he wanted to protect?

000

"Shinichi, why we end up here?" she asked.

Shibuya shopping center presented itself in front of our young couple.

"Don't know, I just follow the moon, follow the way I can see it clearly, avoid blocking from the cloud and building"

"Shinichi, I can't believe it. When did you know to be romance?"

"Really? I'm just telling the truth" he blushed

The only one truth. The moon in his eyes, the wind by his ears, those had led him here.

The place was crowded with people, scattered everywhere, distributed intensively in front of the entrance. He walked toward the gathering without thinking twice. His feet functioned on his own before his mind ordered. But his brain didn't opposed at all because it know the illusionous voice led him here, maybe what he has been looking for inside.

Now getting closer, he got a better look at the screen, people surrounding two cars with red light on top. Police car?

After all, he devotes all of his time to follow cases. His great idol is Sherlock Holmes and his passion to be a detective but …

A case? Is it what he looking for?

000

"Konichi wa, Takegi-kun"

"Oh, Konichi wa, Kudo-kun. It's surprise to meet you here. Konichi wa, Miyano-san" Takegi smile happily at her, "Tomorrow I should call you Kudo-san"

His comment made Shiho blushed. Her cold arrogance had disappeared since he lived with Kudo family.

Shinichi smiled as well, and asked the question he concerned the most "How was the case? Have you found the culprit?"

"No, Shinichi, it's just an accident, no murder."

_No murder?_ He doubt

"Have the victim been sent to hospital?

"Not yet, we waiting for the ambulance"

"May I check?"

"Sure"

000

As usual, Shinichi showed great absorption in examining the victim; luckily, it's not a corpse this time. The body was still warm, first aid had been treated but it couldn't conceal the source of the accident through Shinichi's eyes. The victim suffered a stroke from high blood pressure derived from combination of MAOI and caffeine.

"Takegi, do you know how he was poisoned?"

"Ja, the witnesses said…"

"The witness?" Shinichi cut him off

"They're over there. They happen to stay at the table nearest to the stage"

"Excuse me, may I ask you a few questions?" Shinichi cleared his throat, ready to switch on detective mode.

"Actually, this police officer has just inquired us" one of the girl gestured to Takegi.

"Sorry to mind you, madam. I just need your help to verify some extra information"

Taken back by his courtesy and astute manner, the group agreed to corporate with him.

"Do you witness the entire incident?"

"Hai, we so close to the stage. The drummer grabbed the cup of coffee himself, consumed and collapsed later on," explained a male witness in a clearly rich voice

"We think it was an accident. The victim was so thirsty from the performance that he drank the instant coffee without remember that he under treatment MAOI for his depression", the woman added.

"The performance? Who's was on the stage at that time?"

"The band and my friend."

"Your friend singing?"

"Yes"

_I see. It's the event that the audience can come on stage and perform. If so, the culprit easily approached the victim. Why he could forget that he was using MAOI? Ah, he's in depression so there might be something stir up his emotion and distract his behavior. The poison occurred after the performance. What's the performance? Did it have effect on him? _

"Excuse me, one more question, why you guy chose to stay near the stage"

"Pardon, are you suspecting us?" she tried to keep the even tone but it still hint a light discontent.

"Easy, Fumiko you should expect it as a dominant trait of a detective" come a composed male voice

"Alright, tantei-san, is there a specific reason needed to choose a table in a restaurant. I believe it's not a type of cognitive decision" Fumiko accentuated her argument.

000

Her friends were waiting. Ran made a dash to come back the stage.

_Why are there many people? Has the case been over? Why Takegi-kun is still there? And the one next to him. Hm… _

Ran just saw the back of the figure standing next to Takegi. Oddly familiar. A flow of emotion fluttered in her chest. _No, it's impossible. He…The US. No, don't think about him._ Her mental voice screaming inside, it cost her too much effort to make his face vanish in her mind. She had drank licorice root tea with passion flower flavor to lessen the burden inside her.

The eyes played trick on her again. They kept showing the illustration of her dream when she was awake. Ran stopped at mid-way, hid herself in the shadow, far away from the crowd. Her hands covered her face. Her head kept moving from left to right, tried to shake off the image inside.

When she was sure her mind was safe with the blank space, Ran looked up, ahead. A pair of ocean orbs staring at her attentively.

Their eyes locked. Ran stood there, dumbfoundly. Sudden awe blocked her muscle, hampered her from moving.

Shinichi couldn't take his eyes off her nor did he think of turn his gaze away. He has seen those eyes before. Wide open eyes, coloured by the azure sky, striking with purity but linger a light sorrow. How many times has he bored into those eyes? It craved in his mind so deeply. Its imprinted had just visible by the clearing of the serene voice.

He just imaged there are electricity wire between their gazes. It shot through his skin, along his spine and spread over his body. He was under influence of the power as strong as the singing voice created. It cast a spell on Shinichi and dismiss everything surround him.

"Kudo-san, are you listening to me?"

The voice brought him back to Earth. Takegi has to square his shoulder back to the investigation. Did he aware that he was questioning the witnesses? Shinichi had rarely distracted from the case.

"Tantei-san, it's out of rationale to suspect my friend. I am certain that she has never met him. If she were a good actress, pretending not to know him, at least she would _have her eyes wide-open and frozen when catching unexpected acquaintance._ She so closely to face him, we sat at the table nearest the stage." Fumiko went on, protected her best friend

_Good point_. She pointed out a good point

"Plus," the male witness continue, stood up his colleagues "If she planned it from the start, she should have her glance on him here and there but all I saw was her solemn look down the cup in her hand the entire time"

"Yeah, it's strange, you noticed it too, Denki?"

"Ja, it's so obvious. She focus on the cup as if it was the interesting object existing on Earth"

"I don't think her mind focus as well. It looks like her gaze direct to the cup but I doubt she stare…"

"True, it's what I think through, she stare at the blank space surround it"

"Normally, she doesn't drink that much. But today it seem repetitive, she just took glass after glass without fully aware of what she was doing."

The two colleagues soon divert their attention from the case to concern for their friend's strange behavior.

Their discussion didn't pass Shinichi's investigation.

"How on Earth did a person with traumatic mood like that capable of committing poison?"Denki withdrew his thought with Fumiko

"You right, but we didn't have anything to back up", her eyebrows frowned, Fumiko was thinking hard to resolve the situation. Her face brighten up as a simple thought hit her "Oh, why don't we call Ran here to make herself clear."

_ran…Ran… RAn…RAN…. RAAN… . _

The voice echoed in his mind. His brain claimed to be familiar with the name. It seemed to be the key fit into the lock, open the door to his lost memory. But where the dazzling light gone? It's completely black inside.

000

Ran fidgeted the phone in her hand. A plan to escape: just tell Fumiko that _I'm waiting outside._

She can't face him now. She didn't trust her own body. Who knows if it would go week on the knees and. …_Don't think about the consequence. It's not gonna happen. _Experience taught her that when the mind was not ready, run away is the best choice. 

Her phone rang out of sudden. _Alright Fumiko, best time. _Ran smiled. As soon as did she start to speak, Ran realized that she was left speechless. Instead, she hear Fumiko's urgent voice

"Ran! Get back to the stage. We need your clarify"

Ran couldn't reply. His gaze have so much impact on her.

No way to escape. Nowhere to hide.

"Ran, hello! Are you listening?"

All the people focus on the little device on Fumiko's hand.

"She hang up" said Fumiko bewilderedly.

All head turned everywhere to search for Ran.

"Saw her!" Denki exclaimed

"Come here, Ran"

All eyes looked at the girl ascending from the dark.

His gaze remained steadily, ahead. Shinichi didn't bother to turn around. One swift moment was enough. He didn't want to be pulled in her gravity again. Uneasy feeling crawled inside him. Shinichi didn't get used to the influence by others.

_What were with those eyes?_ How they took control over him completely. He hated the question why. He hates questions that his mind can't provide the answers.

_Who's she?_ Maybe she related to the case. There might be the signal his mind sent to him.

_Is she a culprit?_ No, he didn't have any evident. Don't jump to the conclusion. Assumption is fatal for a detective. Shinichi never hasten and make careless mistake like this.

_Why? _Question why again

_What now?_

His mind knew for sure she wasn't the culprit

His reluctant brain still stick to this lame excuse for his odd feeling

Isn't he the one saying "There's always one truth"

Why there is conflict in his head?

For the first time in life, Shinichi denied the only one truth: He couldn't resist her alluring power.

_**To be continuous **_

.


	2. Only Hope

**Chapter 2: Only hope**

**A/N: I just edit and add some point of view of Shiho, Shinichi and Ran about 1,000 words. Enjoy **

For the first time in life, Shinichi denied the only one truth: He couldn't resist her alluring power

000

"Why Takegi –kun crossed her out of the suspect list? She was on stage performing…"

"Because he knows she isn't the culprit "Shiho cut him off.

"Is there any evident?" he determined

Silence.

She let out a heavy sigh, how she able explaining to him. By that sad look on her face, even Takegi knew Ran was nowhere capable of committing a crime.

"Shinichi, Takegi knows her very well."

"It's not even a sound reason, let along a solid evident."

She looked at him as if she would gave up on his insistence , which drew him to further reasoning. "The truth will always prevail. We cannot wink at the crime even if the culprit was our relatives or family members. Refusal of the truth just makes them stuck deeper into the bad"

Knowing him for so long, Shiho shouldn't surprise at his motto of life but her eyes still wide open, amazed by his firm tone and determined eyes when he avowed these words.

He softly smiled at her "I've once accused my beloved teacher as a murderer." *. Something clicked at the back of his mind, _"Did I consider anyone as my beloved teacher?"" Was it me solve a case or witness someone else solving it?"_ .But for now, it wasn't important enough to bother him.

"If you suspect her, why didn't question her when she first arrive?"she inquired. The calm nature of the ice cool queen gifted Shiho the ability to quickly recover from the effect of his sweet smile.

It 's turn Shinichi became bemused, with a side-track look, scratching his head, he stammered "I haven't known what to question her yet"

_Is it usual you, Shinichi? _

How could he tell her that the girl had some impact on him? Shinichi felt as if being pulled into her gravity when his eyes lay on her._ What with me? _He slightly shook his head, withdrew her gloomy eyes in his mind. What his brain trying to tell him?

Is she a culprit? There's no evident. Presumption is fatal of detective.

Is she related to the case? Sound more appropriate.

_The key to solve the puzzle is to find the differences out of the ordinary. _

Start tracing the glue from her.

"Excuse me, miss. May I ask you a few questions?"

Ran nodded

"Is this the first time u singing on stage?"

Another nod

"What make you going on stage today?"

Ran remained silence.

Shiho stayed behind Shinichi, took in the awkward moment between her fiancé and his forgotten love. He treated her as a complete stranger, a witness or a suspect. Either way is bad. She could understand the feeling when two mates bond together for entire life then suddenly all those time just flown away and everything retrieves back to zero. Shiho could do nothing to ameliorate the situation. Explain to him would bear the risk of exposing his memory.

Shinichi questioned Ran but as if he talking to himself since Ran didn't even turn to his direction. Her head bent down, let the eyes covered in her long brown hair. Shinichi felt uneasy as well. The silence drained his energy. She was hard to read_. Is she sad, angry, shock or frustrated? Is she trying to conceal her tears?_ Nostalgia crawled in his stomach. He just want to become a friend, putting his hand on her shoulder and asked "What's bother you?"

"I suggest her sing."Fumiko burst in as she sensed the ticklish silence from her friend.

"Why?" his eyes hadn't torn off Ran.

"To cheer her up."

"So… she has been upset…? He looked at Fumiko, hoping to get more information.

"Care to know the reason she upset as well?" Fumiko challenged. Although he was doing the duty of a detective, but his questioning was dangerously on the verge to invade in other's privacy.

Silence . He didn't know what else to say or perhaps realization hit him, these questions didn't help to open up the case.

"Satisfied now? We're eligible to go now, aren't we" Fumiko's sarky tone taunting the bewilderment fogging his head.

As a rhetorical question, Fumiko didn't wait for Shinichi's response before grasping her friend's hand, acclaimed "Let's go, Ran"

"Ran…"a hoarse voice called out. I took him a second to realize that this voice belong to him. Shinichi didn't expect her name breathe out his mouth involuntarily and forming an urgent call back like this. It was neither too soft nor too loud, just enough for the said person to hear. He didn't know anything to say. He didn't know how to hide that his wanting her to stay. He hadn't ready to let her go yet.

Hearing her name, Ran turned back, surprised, looked at him for the first time. He locked eyes with her. Once again get lost in the azure lake, tears wavering at the cornea, brimful at the rim of her eyes. His cool confidence withering away as realization struck him. His words all the way like the sword touched her without his notice.

"Gome…"

000

_Ran_

How long has it been since the last time he called her name?

She loves his voice, loves the way he called her, soft, tender and intimate.

_Is it too much? _

Is it too much emotion she could feel in a single one word?

_No_. come a soft whisper inside her heart. _Not at all _

Because that single word, this unique voice had been replayed in her dreams for thousands nights.

Does he come back? Does _her Shinichi_ come back?

_No _a soft confirm in her mind. He wasn't her Shinichi anymore

_Why?_ Her heart would ask.

Her heart always was so silly that made her head want to laugh.

_He has never been yours, remember? _The brain reminded, _"He always choose a case over you." _

_Yeah, the case_. Her heart sank in. That is the only one word uttermost important for him.

There was always a case intervene between him and her .

A case, nearly be a case, got him shrunk in Conan

A case, his fictional case, gave him excuse to go away, gave him reason to lie her.

A case, his giant fatal complicated case, made him into amnesia, made him forget about her, make him a different person.

_That case_ took him away from her

…

And now this case...

She hated it. She hates it all. But how ironic, this case was the only string connecting him and her right now

_Ridiculously connected _

The case tonight put her and him in two extreme distant worlds

But is it the case's fault?

Ran stole a glance at Shinichi. She didn't know why she refused to go with Fumiko. After release from the brief questioning, Ran relieved when her friends went fetch her some drink while she took time to calm down. Lame excuse but her friends were still nice enough to buy it.

So she could stay here, overshadowed by a dark corner.

Ran couldn't help but her eyes focus on him, took in his full image like a blue moon rarely appeared on Earth.

He had walked out of her mind and appeared in her naked eyes. _For real_. The one she loves, the one she yearning to see. …He's just standing there, merely a few steps away. All she need was running to him, wrapped her arms around his torso, leant her head against his shoulder and took in the musky oil of his scent. She craved to launch into his arms, seek for the warmth fill in her heart, looked for the love engulf her soul … but…but… Bitterly or luckily I could say, her mind still sober enough to know that Shinichi _unreachable__._

She had been imaging how pleasant they would unite. It should be a tale of romance full of passion, tender amaze, ardent delight, and…

Not… not painful and wounded like this.

After all those years, she was able to meet him, tonight, face to face, in a small tavern, light music, dim light. Perfect for couple, isn't it? Ran smirked at her own thought.

She rather let herself blindly drown into the fantasy than to confront the acid reality. He didn't open his arm to welcome her, didn't shed her a bit of recognition but instead, all he did was pushing her away, like 5 years ago. He built up an invisible wall between them, segregate her by a bold border:

He was a hero of justice and a saint of fair.

She was grouped at the same class of criminal and evil doers.

He grouped her with them.

'_Gome' is it all you can say, Shinichi?_

000

/SHIHO/

"Shiho, do you suspect her as a culprit?" Shinichi whispered in my ear.

"Why do you think so?" I tried to keep my voice neutral but it couldn't hide my sheer surprise and deep curiosity. I couldn't believe what I thought he just said. He suspects her?

Shouldn't she be the last person he could suspect on the Earth?

He cleared his throat "uhm…"a signal that he was feeling uneasy, his eyes looked at me but they were lack of confidence, the reason probably hard to explain, and it might fall out his solid logic mind.

"I don't believe in six-sense but I can discern what shouldn't happen will happen. My instinct lead me to pay most attention to the soon-become victims or the culprit." His eyes stared deeply into mine, pleading for an understanding. He looked helpless and I couldn't do anything but smiled at him and nodded.

"Yeah" I breathed slightly, let my hand caressed his cheek, assured him that I always here, always beside him, always be for him. Suddenly, I just forgot everything surround us, I just want to know what bothering him, what make him feel so fragile. I want to comfort him, encourage him to continue.

"I have a strong feeling… she is the culprit, Shiho. I cant take my eyes off her. Something in her… something inside tell me …she's important… to the case"

Bingo. Should I be happy or upset? Ironic. He can't deny his strong feelings for her, he always feels she important but this time he gave all credits to the case.

My hand dropped from his face. His eyes followed the movement, "Shiho?"

"It too soon to say, Shinichi"

000

Yes. That's right

It too soon to say he will remember her

It too soon to say Ran will come back to his life

It too soon to say…she will lose him

Yes. He does have sixth sense. Whenever, she caught him pay most attention to a random person. They will turn out either victim or criminal

Yes. She does have sixth sense too. The time she noticed he got distracted when questioning the witness, she also sensed something trouble her will happen. And she never wrong.

000

Ran

His mind became calmer with her voice.

He still shivered as the thought of her name. _Unbelievable_. Just one sad look, she turn him into guilty. He lost himself in it, couldn't find a way out. He thought it was shallow but he got drown in the azure lakes.

_Ran?_ _No_, his eyes closed, his head shook lightly. Shinichi refused to call her name, to let her name echo in his mind. It distracted him. It disturbed his brain. He shook his head again, only to realise that he couldn't escape it. It made him insane. His head gonna explored as the name trigger the blazing of light plagued his mind, brought him to the memory land which he hasn't come for 5 years.

The land he used to familiar, everything surround him in vagueness, covered itself in a thin mist. Something warm filled his heart. Something filled his eyes as the blue and pink petals falling from the tree. _No_, there wasn't a tree where he stood. He looked up, just to see the petals falling from the sky, as if it was raining, the stream of blue and pink flower petal intertwined pouring down in front of his eyes. _What the flower mean? _He was too busy, amazed how the soft and silky petal touched his hand, so didn't brace himself when a strong wind blew in, whirl the blue ribbon of petal away. His hand extended further and his feet chased after it. Little did he know that he had left the giant peaceful grey field behind and abandoned the pink stream of flower aside.

_Why's the blue one? Just an anonymous flower? _

It led him to a space plentiful of light. Its brightness was so intensive that Shinichi couldn't see anything except the creamy white of light and the blue petal stream. Even the path beneath his feet was amorphous, each step he ran, each step he landed on an opaque base. His sight was limited.

Shinichi composed himself, crossed his arms against his chest, closed his eyes and heard with genius ear. No sound reached him. His audition was helpless.

A cool breeze made his soft hair moving._ I might feel the wind_. His left hand extended on impulse, just to meet the blank space of thin air. His left hand didn't help much.

Surprising. Shinichi didn't get panic. His left hand came back, supported below his right elbow as his right hand come underneath his chin. _Thinking._

_Why?_ His eyes. His ears. And his hand failed?

But…

His nose found something. A fragrance arisen from his palm, the scent of nature, of the forest, of… His mind knew this scent. His brain knew its name. Yet, he couldn't form a name in his head. His memory failed him.

His right hand raised up, covered his nose, let the scent absorb him whole fully. He got its name on the tip of his tongue. His brain finally unlocked his memory. Looking down at his hand, Shinichi found a dedicated blue petal neatly laying in his palm. He grinned happily. There's no doubt about it. The fragrance belonged to… the fresh blooming orchid. _Orchid. _

_Shinichi_. He heard the singing voice and the same laughter earlier. He saw the blazing sun, the wind and strands of brown chocolate. He raised his hand, wanted to touch the silky hair around his fingers. But because of the flaming solar, his hands ended up covered his eyes. And when the dazing light gone, he found himself return to the starting point, beside the flow twisted of pink and blue petals again. Then a strong wind blew in and whirl the blue stream away and he kept chasing it.

The scene repeated over and over again. Always been stopped by the blazing sun, Shinichi couldn't step any further into the land, couldn't get anything from the past, except a mysterious voice, mysterious laugh, brown long strands and orchid.

His head spinning as the scene replay itself.

"Shinichi"

The voice was calling him again.

"Shinichi"

His mind just drew a new circle.

"Shinichi"

…

"Shinichi, are you OK?"

Shinichi looked up, to see a concerned Shiho. One of her hand was on his shoulder, the other on his forehead.

"I'm fine, just slight headache."

Headache. Excuse for his cluelessness.

Clueless about how his mind wandered off, instead focus on the case.

000

Shiho really worried about her fiancé, he had been acting out of his character the whole evening. Hauling out her memory, Shiho recalled the last time Shinichi acted like was when he was around _her_. She had to admit it was one of his nature as well, getting all cracked up with everything related to _her_. Something she hasn't seen for years didn't mean it hadn't existed. But everything had changed since 5 years ago. _Could it be…?_

Shinichi was not the type of man following you around, doting you with all enthusiasm, answering all your wants. He was a gentleman with silent care and discrete manner. He always be there when you need him. He a type of golden sun with countless satellites around, but he never look any girls twice. Shiho got full of his attention. When he proposed to her, out of his impulse, he made her the happiest girl in the world. All the kisses, touches, and caresses were certainly not fake. All those years having him for her own, she firmly believe that they were meant for each other. The way he took care of her, apparently cold and disdainful but deep down inside was a warm heart full of passion. Passion only for her.

On the contrary, he never admits that _she _was his girlfriend. They haven't shared any intimate moment. His feeling for_ her_, as Shiho thought, was a pure childhood crush. Psychologically speaking, when you spend too much time together at tender age, the feelings for each other had grown from the comfort zone and the familiar linkage neither from affection nor from attraction. The idea of falling in love was just like an old habit and safe passage of life. Shiho don't think that she will lose him due to a vague figure from his past.

There 's always a question bother her , if Shinichi ever regained memory, which one he would choose._ Stupid question. I knew. I knew_. She knew that as a marble cool girl, it was out of her character to even think about that, put aside let it bother her. But she really wanted know….

Shiho was never a coward. She was full of confident.

Nothing can shake the Dark Angel.

Shiho never run away, never play it safe

She confronted _her_ now. She challenged herself.

If you hold your love too tight, it will die. She let him go, wander in his memory land then come back and realize that his present was perfect for him. His present with her. 

She wanted to witness that _he still choose me_ regardless with or without memory

She wanted to prove that _his love for me _is greater.

Her head inched closer to him. Shinichi smiled as the closeness and Shiho couldn't help but grin pleasantly at him.

A piece of reminiscence trotted her back, a feeling of an outsider watching the two lovebirds. Shiho, no, correctly Haibara Ai used to keep her secret love for herself, used to restrain her feeling for her co-circumstantial friend. Now she wondered if Ran felt the same. How caustic fate twist things around. Ai Haibara, a shrunken victim, his fellow groupmate, was no longer exist with him. Shinichi's memory now just remember a Shiho Miyano, an enchanted woman, his fiancée. Things has changed and flipped upside down. A smile curved on Shiho's perfect lips.

000

Those illusions labored his brain with throbbing headache and piercing pain. Shinichi relieved to see his fiancée's face instead of the repeated series of intricate images. His hand found it ways lace in the smooth of her red-brown hair, pulled her face closer to him. His mind needed a steady point to assure him in this reality. But the more he got closer to Shiho, the more he felt hotter on his side. There were intensive eyes gazing at him like burning a hole in his skin. As he felt the heat radiant over his face to the side of his neck, the illusion stepped in and defeat his physical world. His vision full of the face of his fiancée Shiho Miyano but his mind showed him the tear stained face of the girl, who stole his vanity and sent him to guilty by only a single tear. He dreaded at the thought. Shinichi turned away, blink his eyes and shook his head lightly; attempt to shake the image out of his mind. But the girl stepped out of his illusion, appeared in his vision. His brain just registered that she was running away.

Although his mind exhausted with her teary eyes and gloomy gaze, Shinichi wasn't ready to let her go yet, not until he solve the mystery about her. Although this was the first time meeting, he found her very familiar. Although he had seen many downcast glance and gloomy face, she got his earnest attention. Although she looked rather ordinary as any other girl, he discerned something special engulf around her that intrigue his curious. Was she related to his missing memory?

000

Ran ripped her eyes off him. It's beyond enough for her fragile heart. He drew _her_ in. It's _her_ not her. She wished she would be _her_. She could trade anything in this world to be in_ her_ place right now. To feel his slender fingers in her hair. To share the same hot breathe with him and to savor his lips on hers. Now Ran realized that she really needed him, wanted him and always craved for him.

But…if she was in _her_ place, whether he continue to kiss her or … push her away as she was not his fiancée. Somehow Ran amazed by the strength of her mental power, it didn't let free in the air with imagination but always pin her down to the ground with the truth. The shorten the distance between them, the more needles Ran felt in her heart.

Ran made her way toward the exit. She had no reason to stay here. Her friends had come back and got her a refresh drink. Yeah. Refresh. She had made up her mind, she didn't expect he will remember anymore. What's the point for him to remembering now, while he was all lovey-dovey with other woman? _Not a random woman, girl. It's his fiancée_. There's no place for you to cut off between them. There's right for you to feel jealous. Yes, jealous. Now Ran knew that the searing pain clenching her hear named jealousy.

The man whom she trust with her heart didn't even know its existence

The man whom he loved now happy and contend with another woman

…..

Leave it as it is now, it would be easier. If she had known there would be today, she wouldn't have wished to meet him again. Let he forget her, see her as a stranger, treat her as if she hadn't existed in his life. It would be more bearable.

What if he remembered her now? What would he react? What about his fiancée? Who would he choose? It put him into arduous dilemma. It turned her into the third person in the relationship for two. His halcyon memories with her just causes pain for the other girl. These memories only ruin others happiness. It just put three of them into a gloomy cheesy tragedy. She better locked it up and pretended it never had happened. Only her went through all those pains is enough.

Again, her head smirked at the soppy sappy cliché reasoning of her heart. What made it firmly believe that their childhood memories were as valuable to him as they were to her?

_Who were you to him back then? _Girlfriend? Lover? ….

….

…._No…._

Don't just reply on his confession in London. If you weren't force him, he would never said it.

Face the truth Ran, you gave up on him, it's not for other's sake.

It's for your conservative, selfish and fragile sake as well.

What if he remembered everything but you and him still cant be together?

You cant handle the biggest fear that he still choose the other girl over you

You cant face the fact that your memories was nothing important to him

….

Better keep it in doubt and never define, let her blindly believe in her assumption.

Ran used to think she couldn't live without him.

So how had she coped with it during the past 5 years.

Sometime it can be explained that she accept another girl beside him because he didn't remember her. His amnesia became the excuse which she cling on to accept the piercing truth.

Now if it was gone as well she couldn't imagine her life without it.

That why she didn't allow him to remember or at least she didn't want to acknowledge that he remembered the past.

She wasn't allowed him to abandon her again.

Her and him simply never happen.

_Please spare me a reason to live _

How she didn't notice the elegant woman by his side. They were leaning against the wall, looking lovingly at each other. She has red-brown hair, fair skin, shape figure.

How gorgeous _she_ is!

_She_ has everything in _her_. _She_ is like both Watson and Irene to Holmes

_That's why Shinichi fall in love with her_

They just make a perfect match!

She hadn't had a chance to look at_ her_ closely but Fumiko and Denki eagerly praised the girl, her smart eyes and agile mind when analyzing the scenes. Even police officer whispered excitedly "Luckily, Kudo-kun and Miyano-san here, the cases will be solved quickly".

Everyone trusts in him and _her_.

Everyone admired _them_ together.

Now Ran aware of the fact that she and Shinichi never on the same wavelength. She never interest in mystery whereas he will always hunt down the truth. She never can work out the case with him because of her homophobia and nature to mess up the scene.

There's genuinely always a big gap between them.

-::-

Ran leaving the place, her feet hurry as if being afraid of invisible force will stop her.

Her step halted as she was pulled back, _just like the last time_

"Ran!"… "Stay!"

The whole motion happened out of the blue he dash through the room to reach her. Shinichi acted out of his impulse. He himself hardly understood why he had a gut to take hold of her but… The moment he grasped her armed, he dazed as a chain of images running through his head like movie scenes

'_Ran, wait!' he chased after her 'I said wait'_

'_Ran please wait for me!'_

'_Ran… don't run away,…"_

It fit like a jigsaw.

How could she step away when he told her 'Stay!'.

His eyes were determined and pleading at the same time. Her eyes opened wide, baffled with what happened. Her heart beat furiously against her ribcage as he stepped closer. Why she has to go when he was so close like this.

Here 's go her feeble and naïve heart. Her brain sighed, it would reminded her the reason why she has to leave at the first place. Hadn't she made up her mind? As if adding to the effect, her ears absorb another feminine voice calling his name, his fiancée.

Why he asked her stay when he already has his lady?

Her mind quickly responded "Remember the link between you and him?"

The red string? No no silly heart

The case! Yes the smart mind

Ran took in the sharp breath. Tears pooling in her eyes but she refused to cry

_Truly madly deeply hurt_

In his eyes, she was his suspect

In her eyes, he was her heart keeper

…

Bitter Ran

Broken Ran

Bleeding Ran

Ran!

_I'm strong. Am I?_

If his heart was made of ice, if his mind were made of stone,

She should wear a mask of iron , to protect herself from cold, and shield her heart from hurt.

"Do you have evident to make me stay…, tantei-san?"

She couldn't believe her own voice. It's so dry, dead and monotone.

It the first time she spoke to him, the first time he heard her voice. It wasn't the voice he expected. It wasn't the silk smooth voice in his mind, but…

He couldn't let her go. Intuition told him…

He has never worked on intuition, right? His brain scolded

Don't take the case as an excuse. His head reminded

But did he have another choice?

"Are you psychologist?" He causally asked

"What to do with that?" Fumiko demanded

"The victim was under psychological suffer. Of course a psychologist should involve" knowing smile reappeared on Shinichi's lips. He regained his compose.

"Alright…"Takagi agreed. He couldn't say anything else as everyone remained silence as the scene in front of them. The tension grew and consumed all the air inside the room.

Only one voice torn out the deadly silence and brought everything to its normal track.

"Uhm… Hold on, why you know that she's a psychologist" Chiba inquired

Shinichi grinned. His confidence came back to him, as he will show off his deduction.

"It's cognitive and repetitive."

All eyes laid on him, waiting for his reason

"We all know the meaning of those words but can't use it smoothly and naturally like them, especially, when they were under suspect and defend themselves."

"Cognitive… I can understand but repetitive, it's common word." Takagi questioned

"Yeah, when describe an action, we tend to use verb like repeat but they use adjective to describe it. That mean they often analyse the action or movement carefully. It results from the routine to observe and diagnose patients' psychological condition. Recently, their argument are mostly based on their observation and analysis of their friend's behavior. True?" Shinichi looked over Denki and Fumiko and received a confirmed nod from them.

"It more obvious" he continued "when they concluded the victim was in depression while MAOI can be used to treat other illness"

"But tantei-san, MAOI is mostly used to treated depression so it is the first thing come to mind. It's absolutely ordinary." Denki argued

"Yeah, there's one last thing…" he raised his intertwined hand to his nose "the instinct scent of jasmine and chamomile which used to relieve stress, diffuse tension and prevent mental blockage. As it usually used in psychology clinic"

Shinichi closed his eyes, let the scent went up his nasal cavity. His cocky grin was still visible on his mouth. He knew he was right.

Ran froze. He never failed to amaze her by his brilliant deduction. It's the same with hundred times in the past. Shinichi didn't change much. His character didn't change at all.

In her teary eyes, Ran bitterly realized that everything still remained the same, except one thing…

He kept her stay just because she can help him solve the case

Now he saw her as a psychologist, saw her as a random person in a crime scene.

Nothing else. Nothing less. Nothing more .

That's not what she want,

That's not what she will stay for

That's not …

"That's not enough, Shinichi"

Ran shook her hand from his and walked away.

/…/000/…/

End chapter 2

**A/N: Please take your time to review if you have spent your time to read. **

**What you guys think? Your review mean a lot to me ! **


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